Sci-Fi Parenting

Early GPS

Normally, I would not skip movies within a series, but this will be an exception. The third installment of the Indiana Jones serial, The Last Crusade, is the only installment of the character’s storyline with parental references. And before you begin to correct me, understand that I refuse to acknowledge any part of the series that happened after nuclear weapons have been detonated and refrigerators have been hiding places. And Short Round was more of a personal assistant than a son-like figure.

Our Child:
Indiana Jones, archaeologist, professor, whipper. This man has been stealing all his life from graves, tombs, and religious temples for museums, which pay him for his work. While this may seem honorable on the surface, keep in mind that this same philosophy essentially destroyed the Parthenon among other things. He also obliterates much of that he should be trying to preserve for study, as evidenced by his defacing of a historic Venetian library and the catacombs beneath it.

To his credit, he is quite educated, speaking a multitude of languages and being well-versed in history and anthropology. He also hates Nazis and presumably has saved the world by foiling their plots to obtain powerful religious artifacts. On the other hand, he once shot a guy performing a sword demonstration for him.

Our Parent:
Henry Jones, Sr. is an archaeologist who has chosen a more studious approach to his career than his tomb-raiding son. He maintains a strong religious faith and thoroughly respects his pursuits. He is unimpressed with violent acts and unafraid to do what it takes to get the job done in a civilized fashion, even willing to travel into the heart of the lion’s den to retrieve his diary. His career has always been foremost, ultimately leading him to estrangement from his son.

Our Story:
Young Indiana stumbles upon some gentlemen who are digging for artifacts when they discover something valuable. The impulsive

Demonstrate the dangers of playing with fire to your boy

boy steals it from them and leads them on a perilous chase on horseback and train, not just endangering himself and these men, but also the circus animals on board the train. He even whips a defenseless lion during the process. He makes his way back to his home, where he rudely interrupts his father’s studies. Henry, deeply involved in his work, tells him to wait and count to ten in Greek before he can begin the conversation. This is an excellent example of how to not only teach patience and respect for others, but also for Indy to bone up on foreign language skills he may need later (as it turns out, he needs to be able to count in Roman and read Hebrew). Indy’s patience, forged by Henry’s demand for respect, pays off. Not only does Indy not have charges pressed against him, he is unable to make his father an accessory to the crime. All of that from a short lesson in patience.

Grown-up Indy is recruited to help with his father’s research and picks him up from Henry’s research team’s headquarters in Germany. During their flight from Berlin, Indy and Henry finally have a chance to catch their breath. After years of estrangement, Indy complains to his father that they never talked. Henry responds by asking “What do you want to talk about?” When Indy can’t come up with anything, Henry wonders what he is sore about. This is a critical point. Indy complains throughout the entire movie about his father – how Henry hit him over the head with a vase, how he how has to go back to Berlin to get Henry’s diary, how Henry slept with his girlfriend. It goes on endlessly. Children gripe all the time about everything they can. When your child whines, call him out on it. It will leave him dumbfounded.

After traveling to the final archaeological site, Henry asks Indy to finish the job at hand. Henry has provided detailed instructions in his diary of how to perform the task. Even when he has directions, we can see Indy does not want to execute them. Notice how he hesitates on the first step from the Lion’s Head because he does not trust that his father is correct. Only after following Henry’s exact directives does he succeed. It is imperative that when you ask your child to do anything for you that you tell him precisely what, because his instincts are to believe that you are wrong. Only after several iterations of demonstrating you are right might they listen. And finally, at the end, when Henry tells Indy to leave the precious artifact alone, he complies. Cue the horses and the sunset.

Lessons Learned:

• “I find that if I just sit down and think…the solution presents itself.” Teaching your child patience might just get him a magic fedora that hardly ever falls off and comes back on the wind if it does.
• “You are named after the dog?” Kids will complain about anything and everything, even their name. When your son does this, dog him by telling his friends that his nickname is that of the family pet.
• “You have chosen…wisely.” It may take multiple lessons and being shot to get your kid to listen to your directions, even when his life is at stake.

Thanks for reading, and see you next week.